Whoever runs the Taco Bell twitter is pretty cool.
the thrilling saga
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
MAYBE ITS THE WAY SHE WALKED
favorite fictional characters ● Mark Cohen (Rent)
Kristen Bell and sloths on Ellen
This is the best video on the web
She’s seriously the cutest thing ever.
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
I got to the rash and almost stopped. So glad I didn’t.
Corporate social media accounts just remind me of this:
Seasons according to the North
IT IS THAT DAY IN MARCH TODAY
welcome to that day in march
WAIT CAN PEOPLE SEE THE NAMES OF THE FILES YOU SEND THEM VIA EMAIL
APPARENTLY YOU CAN AND I JUST EMAILED MY TEACHER AN ESSAY LABELED FUCK THIS ASSIGNMENT WHY DIDNT I KNOW THIS BEFORE IM FLEEING THE COUNTRY
SHE WAS NOWHERE NEAR HIS MOUTH
No wonder she looks so happy.
He was going for his waist before Altivo interrupted.
Not only did they get crunk but the second they smoked a… special cigar, this shit started happening:
Don’t get me started on El Dorado.
oh my god
Best movie ever